Irrational Thinking

One of the biggest problems we have is the tendency for our mind to think in an irrational / unbalanced way. We see issues and other people through a clouded and fuzzy perspective. This judgment leads us to many problems, not least it makes life more stressful and depressing. These are a few perspectives which are misleading like:

Jumping to conclusions
Often we jump to conclusions on a small fraction of evidence. It does happen many a times in professional life when someone does not reply to your emails, we then project our own thoughts as to why this is. The mind creates a powerful scenario which we come to believe. Yet, our mental projections are often far from reality. To make things worse we often jump to conclusions in a negative way. The mind is suspicious of others’ intentions and we definitely create problems for ourselves by doubting our friends and relatives. We have to be very wary of jumping to conclusions; at the very least we should remind ourself our conclusion is likely to be wrong.

There are never shades of grey
We often come to see the world in black and white terms – either we are a total success or failure. Other people are either friends or enemies. The problem is that one small mistake can make us feel a total failure. For example, we say one wrong thing so then assume we have messed up a relationship with someone. On the other hand a small success can bloat us with pride. Life is never so clear cut; we have to avoid both the depths of despair and heights of vainglory. Rather than seeing ourselves as a total failure just see mistakes as stepping stones on the path to self-development.

Emotional thinking
Emotions are fleeting. Anger comes and goes. Fear comes and goes. Our emotional state is unreliable guide to the truth of an issue. Many times we are relieved we don’t act out of impulsive anger. To really understand a situation, we have to see it without the cloud of emotion. Take time to see beyond a misleading emotion.

These ways of looking at life all share a common theme – it is easy to gain an unbalanced look at life. When we look at problems through a certain filter it is inevitable that we create problems and have poor perception. To deal with this problem we need to avoid jumping to conclusions and be wary of our initial judgments.

Blaming other People for own Faults.
Often we sit in judgement on other people, but, if we were honest we would realise many of their faults we too share. We are not judging out of compassion but out of a sense of self-importance. The worst thing is when we do something wrong but seek to pass the blame onto other people – If only other people had done the right thing we would been fine. This is just our clever mind justify its wrong actions. But, with this attitude we will just continue doing the wrong thing and create more problems. We have to be honest with ourselves.

Before acting we need to test our state of mind.

Netcore - Turning Point in my career

The turning point in career came when I realized that all I wanted to know about Mobile VAS, team building, team dynamics, management, talent management, doing business was already out there. All I had to do was read it or listen to it. I then started to invest in myself and then never stopped. Netcore made me realize this and really thankful to them for providing me this opportunity. Also, as I was investing in myself, I realized that it was not only benefiting me but also the organization in many ways. So, it is not only personal interest but also in the interest of the organization. This kept me moving on and moving on really at a pace which I am happy with eventually because I could see myself contributing to the overall development of the company. I was not wrong when I said in my exit interview that "This company helped me in framing and developing my personality".

How did I start to invest in myself?
The first step I took was training. Be it in my office or in my college. At least one session of training every week was my target and achieved it well. Training gave me the confidence to stand and speak in front of a group, answer all kind of possible questions that come up, gave me a different perspective to look at a problem and the most important aspect was made me a very detail-oriented person. I am sure each one of you understand how did this benefit Netcore.

The second step I took was reading. I decided to read at least two books per week and also all that I can cover over the internet. Which means I decided to read up at least 2hrs per day. Reading made sure that I could be a part of any conversation and contribute to the same. It also made sure that when I speak, people will listen because there would surely be something interesting coming up.

The third step I took was decided to make my team my strength. I always feel that whatever I achieved, I would not have if my team was not there with me. Making a strong team helped me in sharpening my people management skills and enhancing my leadership skills.

The fourth step I took was decided to network and meet people. This helped me to build relationships and moreover market myself. It gave me the confidence that I could market myself in a more finished manner as I know how opinions are formed, what impression do people take away when they meet me, etc. This just made me work on myself.

The fifth step I took was decided to carry a attitude of "always in love with myself" and "fun-loving". In fact this is who I am, all I am trying to say is decide to surface it in office environment. Only reason was enhance my ability to take stress/pressure of any kind be it personally or professionally. I can always smile and be happy and make others happy too gave me the extra strength to go beyond what I can. I defined new boundaries for myself.

The sixth step I took was decided to scream for help at right time :-), what I meant is escalate the issue if I cannot manage it at the right time. There is no harm at all in saying "You don't know or you cannot handle or you are not capable of handling a task." But surely there is a harm when you say you do not have the attitude of learning the same. In fact, it gets more interesting when you think of it like this. If on daily basis, I don't know at least one thing, it means I learn at least one new thing everyday which means 365 new things every year and go on year on year. Wow!

There were of course many other tasks that I did but today when I look back, it was this that made me different. Thanks to my COO and MD who always encouraged me and made me what I am today. Thanks again!

Spending time with Siya

Since I have taken a break in my career (may be not completely), I am spending now a days lot of time with Siya and enjoying every bit thoroughly. Don't feel like getting back to work at all :-(

Why did we paint or write or dance?

Today after years I somehow felt I should start painting again! Off late, all the activities that I am doing is more on the creative side be it dancing, writing and now painting! Why do I want to paint or write or dance? What is it that gives me so much joy in doing all this? I am really not monetizing any of these (or rather I choose not to monetize) but still I am loving to spend time with these. I ask because there are a lot of people out there who would like to do painting and who are either scared, or intimidated, or simply don’t think they can do it, yet, the thought never leaves their minds…maybe they could paint? So let me take a attempt to think why do I like to dance or paint or write? I like to do all this because I like the uniqueness in it. When you think about it, writing is like painting in the sense that you use symbols to get across your thoughts. In writing, the symbols are the letters and in painting the symbols are the brushstrokes. I love to write, but today when I started to paint, I had a real different feeling. I felt the brushstrokes are more interesting, unusual, and many times more colorful. I find when I’m writing that I miss painting because I miss the different ways of creating brushstrokes that together form the art. I realized that I like analyzing the brushstrokes and coming up with different ways to create them. Also, I think 90% of me is below the surface. I never confuse the conscious, directed, purposeful 10% of me with who I really am. All of these, makes me meet myself. That is the only reason I like to paint, write or dance.

So today when I just started to draw something on the canvas, all I drew is a deserted street with a couple walking on the footpath. This is just so unlike me. I am sure every one of you will agree that Purwa is the one who would party a lot and is someone who would be surrounded by 100's of people. The painting just came out so different! Now you have to believe when I say, "I ONLY NETWORK, AND NOT SOCIALIZE". There is a difference :-)

So tell me friends, why do you paint?

How ISP helped me in bringing up Siya?

When I was expecting, I had done a 2 months session called Infant SSY Program conducted by MET Rishikul Vidhalya (recommended to me by a cousin of mine). That time, I was told that a child can be smart in more than one ways and there are more than one type of intelligence which can be very closely noted by parents based on the kind of activities the child performs, interests and abilities! The main ways children's intelligence and abilities are judged in our school systems are through their language and math skills. These are very important skills all children should learn but not the only way in which one should judge the child. Not every child is "Book Smart". Multiple intelligences are a set of different ways to look at how children (and all people) are smart and skillful. Understanding that children can be intelligent and good at different things allows you to help your child learn and succeed by seeing the world through her eyes. It can help you understand how she best shows what she knows and can do. The different types of intelligence are:
1) Visual-Spatial - They tends to solve a lot of puzzles, like drawing, have a good sense of direction
2) Verbal Linguistic - They tends to do a lot of speaking, story telling, writing, listening, having humour element in their conversations
3) Logical-Mathematical - They love problem solving, categorizing classifying, working with geometric shapes
4) Bodily-Kinesthetic - They would tend to show inclination towards dancing, sports, acting, anything requiring physical coordination, creating with hands.
5) Musical-Rythmic - They would tends to do a lot of singing, playing musical instruments, composing music
6) Inter-personal - Able to see other's point of view, listening, able to pick up on cues from others, good at forming good relations with other people, conflict resolution; good leaders
7) Intra-personal - Figuring out their own strengths and weaknesses, analyzing, understanding themselves and how they relate to others

Also, of course a child can have more than one skill and hence more than one intelligence but as parents it is very important for us to recognize them and then channelize their skills in right direction.

Siya is very much inclined towards sports, dance, skating and hence Bodily-Kinesthetic. She is also high on Inter-personal IQ (after all she is mommy's daughter). From a very young age she has been dancing and skating. She is done almost 6 shows till date (she is 5 now)! Also, as she is doing things where her skills are, it comes with her own will without any form of pressure from us. This also makes her a far stable and smart kid in school. A lot of concepts are taught to her while she is doing these activities. Like I remember talking to her about "Law of Inertia" while she was skating, talking to her about "Gravitational Force" when she is tired of climbing up 5 floors everyday, etc. She is eventually turned out to be a very smart girl and smart in more than one way!