You will get to your BIG THING, your most important thing, but later !

It’s amazing how many people I talk to who tell me they want to create a new blog, write a book, start a new business, change careers, make something new. But simply keep putting it off. Does it sound like your story? You want to do something different but you don't have the time (or energy) to do one right now? "My sweetheart, I love you, I miss you but I just don't have the time to meet you. A million of things in your to-do list, your schedule fully packed, meetings coming". You will get to your BIG THING, your most important thing, but later. In fact it is even my story till I learnt the art of creating time. 

I realized that I will never get to that time I want to do my BIG THING, till I learn to create one. Seize the bull by the horns, grasp it tenaciously, never let it go. Time has a habit of trampling over us, so softly we don’t even notice but so powerfully we become crushed over the course of weeks and years. And someone who have learnt to master this  art is all working women. It is beautiful to see how they manage home, office, kids, in-laws and still manage to create time for what they like (walk, dance, spa-sessions, gyms, whatever). They generally have no time to do it and yet the create one. I had no time, so I created it. Time is often said to be our most limited resource, but it’s not true. We can create time. It takes the sheer force of will to do it, but it can be created. Time doesn’t fall into your lap. It isn’t handed to you by a kindly old gentleman. You must create it, taking from the world the raw materials you need and shaping it with your bare dirty blistered hands, pushing the clay into form from its shapeless muddy glob. I created the time, taking some from television watching, some from meetings, some from saying no to the endless requests on my time by co-workers and well meaning friends, some from other important projects that I put off. I put off important things to create time for The Most Important Thing. Say no to everything else. Put off what can be held at bay for the time being. And create time for what is necessary. Make something. Bring new creative life into the world, change the lives of others, and in doing so, change yours.

Let's attempt it - its not so difficult. And as someone rightly said, if you conquer your will power, even Mount Everest will seem like a rock!

Cheers!

Siya and her Virus!

A very interesting conversation with Siya last night - she was typing a letter for me on my laptop when she saw a pop-up on some virus protection software installed on my laptop. Her inquisitive mind as usual could not resist asking me what it is. So I explained her what are viruses on the computer and how important it is to install a virus protection on it. She went to sleep after that and a thought came to my mind. We all take care of destructive viruses on the laptop but we really don't bother with destructive viruses acting on our mind. The more serious of these thoughts may lead to mental health problems such as loss in confidence, mild depression, self esteem issues and a distorted perception of ourselves (been there myself ;-) ). I think the book was "The Secret" where I read that science has proved there is a link between physical and mental well being and positive attitude in life. When you are happy and content with life and your thought processes are working correctly your brain releases endorphins which is your brains way of dealing with pain and making your feel happier. Your brain also releases something called Gamma Globulin to strengthen your immune system and another chemical called Interferon which combats viruses, infections and even cancer. But question is how? And may be the answer to that is not so simple but what has helped me is "thought awareness" that is when you recognize that the thoughts coming to your mind can lead to a downward spiral of negative emotions resulting in  physical and mental problems. 

So when I started my own business, at first I was (and still I am) really excited about the entire thought but then I soon realized my mind telling me "it is hard, it is difficult, it is not easy" so on. I recognized that I was talking to myself in a negative way. When you recognize this, it is very important to recognize for what it is. Your mind has tried to protect you from being hurt emotionally so starts talking to you in a negative way in order to protect your feelings. As soon as you recognize these thoughts are creeping in, its time to kill them and carry on with your plan. Everything you don’t know yet is difficult simply because you don’t know it, but when you take steps towards knowing, it becomes less difficult and therefore easier. When you recognize and stop the negative self talk your thoughts will then start naturally flowing to a positive mind state. Kind of like Siya where she believes she could do anything. We tend to dwell on negative events from our past in an effort to understand why they happened. This can often occur with traumatic events from our past. Just move on, what is occurred is unavoidable for us to change, spending hours on analyzing why it happened is wasting your TODAY. Use affirmations to train your mind. They could be any of the short phrases or sentences you repeat to yourself mentally in order to induce a certain state of mind. Like for me it is "Everyday in every way, I am getting better and better and better". I have been chanting this (almost like a prayer) for years and years now. I make it a point to tell myself this before a sales call, before a client meet, before handling a Siya tantrum. By stating affirmations to yourself in a mantra like way and repeatedly over weeks, months and years your mind becomes trained to think in a different way. If you don’t think this works think about your fears for a second or two. people who are afraid of going into elevators have literally used affirmations and visualization to train their mind to produce a state of panic whenever they have to enter an elevator. So it is true in reverse. People who are confident have affirmed, at every opportunity, to tell their mind they are confident in every situation and confident enough to try new situations. We all use affirmations in our lives without ever knowing that we do so why not put affirmations to good use and consciously train your brain to a better way of thinking. And I have just opened up myself to new experiences without caring for results. The very thrill of breaking the comfort zone everyday excites me. Again read this somewhere - Apathy is found within the comfort zone, greatness lives outside of it. 

I know it is not possible to control our thoughts, Alok Kejriwal had once mentioned as his status message "if spiders could see the cobwebs in peoples minds, they would step back and marvel at them...". Our aim is not to control our thoughts but to steer them in right direction!

My experience with JoyFear

I had heard this term JoyFear somewhere! I realized that the path of success is littered with doubt, fear, uncertainty and still lots of persistence, calculated risk and repeated actions. I personally think the difference between someone who fails and someone who succeeds is the courage to act repeatedly. There was a stage where I lived in a constant state of exhaustion. I lost weight, I had dark circles and the thought that always came to my mind was "I am not capable". And this feeling of "not being capable" is something that can drive one crying. And then I learned from Siya while she was growing. When she walking, she would simply focus on the step at a time. She would make sure she gets that step perfectly right, make sure she could balance it well and then only move on to the next step. If she would fall down, she would again stand up, try the same step till she got it. That is exactly what I decided to do. I will wake up in the morning, put one foot ahead of other, I am going to do it one step at a time. And that step is a forward step. Keep walking and you will reach someday to your goal. I am strong and determined and made sure I only focus on step ahead of me and I would not fail at that. And this every step is a mixture of two powerful emotions - joy and fear. Every single defining moment in my life has been filled with JoyFear, mixture of intense joy and intense fear into one ball of powerful emotions that both lift me up and make me see things clearly when I hadn’t before. What made sure that I would always propel forward?

• I would tell myself "I have to succeed and there is no two ways about it. When I started Jute, I had left a job that was paying me well, a job that was satisfying too, and still decided to plunge into Jute. All I said is "I HAVE TO MAKE IT WORK". Once you decide on success you rarely allow doubt to enter your mind. Your persistence, dedication, and resilience are strengthened. And then in my low days, I simply ping my well wishers and a meeting with them makes sure I am on track!
• I decided to take a risk. I decided to chase my fear. I decided to do what will scare me. When I would experience rejections, I would simply ask someone else. Be bold and brave and defy the odds.
• Be prepared - Unemployment is the world's fastest rising worry. Anticipate your needs but don't live in fear, create solutions in advance. In Ajit's language - What is your plan B?
• Focus on benefits of your success and not failures. That it self is a biggest motivation.
• Be with people who want to see you succeed. 
• Always see yourself as "you are enough". Accept who you are and where you are today. When you compare yourself to others, you create your own suffering. My friends were busy making their careers when I was changing diapers. I was too busy to care. What others think of you is none of your business.
• Finally calm your body, do something you like. Find a quite place and bring attention inward.

Unless you can learn how to move through your fear, you’ll continue to hold yourself back. You’ll never learn to risk, to excel, to create, to invent or to experience Joyfear.