Lets start this write-up with Newton's third law, that is:
The mutual forces of action and reaction between two bodies are equal, opposite and collinear. This means that whenever a first body exerts a force F on a second body, the second body exerts a force −F on the first body. F and −F are equal in magnitude and opposite in direction. This law is sometimes referred to as the action-reaction law, with F called the "action" and −F the "reaction".
Simply put, "Every action has a equal and opposite reaction".
Over a period of time I have started sensing that it is just not a "Physical force" or a "Physical action" that follows this law but "Actions" in general follow this. It can be termed by different people differently like "after happiness there is sadness, after night there is day, your good deeds will pay back, God has an account of all right and wrong that will determine if we will be heaven or hell, etc". I strongly feel that one does not need to wait till death to close his accounts of deeds. Just like the way there is a balance sheet where you need to balance your assets and liabilities, there is some force around each one of us that maintains a balance sheet of your deeds.
Another analogy that I could think of relating with my Interiors Background is that of "Symmetry". Symmetry is the ordering principle in nature that represents the center of balance between two or more opposing sides. There are three types of symmetry (rather many types, but fundamentally three types):
1) Translation symmetry
2) Reflection symmetry
3) Rotational symmetry
Your deeds are more like reflection symmetry. Every deed you perform will have a reflection in some form nor the other. Sometimes, a correlation pattern can be clearly observed and hence you as a human will tend to relate it but sometimes it is just so abstract that one cannot really relate to it. But it is surely balanced always!
Many of my recent life incidences assert this fact!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
A stressful project - how do u manage your cool?
From the past year or so, work for me has been extremely hectic and at the same extremely stressful in terms of meeting milestones, delivery, deployments and to add all of above, DEAL WITH CHANGE! Finally after one year of slogging out, would ike to specifically share my experience.
Stay focused on one project at a time - Most of the time, I have several things that I am trying to do at once. I could be writing an email and at the same time I am thinking about an upcoming meeting. This split distraction puts strain on my focus and affects the quality of my work.
Depending on the task, I may set the timer for 30 minutes and try to knock the work out in that time frame. If I need more time, I let the timer beep at me and then I reset it for the appropriate amount of time. This allows me to focus on this one task.
Break the project down into tiny chunks - There are days when I feel that the length of tasks in my list would scare the hell out of someone! And then instead of getting the whole stuff done, my brain often shuts down in response to the overwhelming list. One thing that does help me is take a quick quick round outside my office and gulp in lots of water! I then break down my first big task into twenty minute chunks. When the project seems more manageable, I pick an easier 20 minute chunk and accomplish it. By doing this I boost my confidence and get my emotions back into a positive state.
Take a weird break - When I say weird, I mean here do something that you have never done before like pull someone leg, go for a walk, play TT, etc. There are so many ways we can pull ourselves out of a stressful state if we just take a moment to be creative.
Work for yourself - Many a times, when the project is too long, half way through I loose the motivation to accomplish the same. Then I try to figure of if the company's goals are aligned to my need. A constant watch at the same helps me not deviate and keeps me motivated.
Think only about the positives - I am sure it is much easier said than done but when going through a stressful phase, try to think about the positives and review them. By shifting my perspective to the positive, I’m able to let go of my negative thinking cycle and realign myself with the good things in my life.
Cope up with change as fast as possible - A change of any form like people leaving, organizational structure change, etc also adds to the stress levels. The best way to deal with this is to accept the change as soon as possible. This makes sure that it pinches you less and hence less stress.
And I personally believe that most of the work happiness comes from our relationship with ourselves!
Stay focused on one project at a time - Most of the time, I have several things that I am trying to do at once. I could be writing an email and at the same time I am thinking about an upcoming meeting. This split distraction puts strain on my focus and affects the quality of my work.
Depending on the task, I may set the timer for 30 minutes and try to knock the work out in that time frame. If I need more time, I let the timer beep at me and then I reset it for the appropriate amount of time. This allows me to focus on this one task.
Break the project down into tiny chunks - There are days when I feel that the length of tasks in my list would scare the hell out of someone! And then instead of getting the whole stuff done, my brain often shuts down in response to the overwhelming list. One thing that does help me is take a quick quick round outside my office and gulp in lots of water! I then break down my first big task into twenty minute chunks. When the project seems more manageable, I pick an easier 20 minute chunk and accomplish it. By doing this I boost my confidence and get my emotions back into a positive state.
Take a weird break - When I say weird, I mean here do something that you have never done before like pull someone leg, go for a walk, play TT, etc. There are so many ways we can pull ourselves out of a stressful state if we just take a moment to be creative.
Work for yourself - Many a times, when the project is too long, half way through I loose the motivation to accomplish the same. Then I try to figure of if the company's goals are aligned to my need. A constant watch at the same helps me not deviate and keeps me motivated.
Think only about the positives - I am sure it is much easier said than done but when going through a stressful phase, try to think about the positives and review them. By shifting my perspective to the positive, I’m able to let go of my negative thinking cycle and realign myself with the good things in my life.
Cope up with change as fast as possible - A change of any form like people leaving, organizational structure change, etc also adds to the stress levels. The best way to deal with this is to accept the change as soon as possible. This makes sure that it pinches you less and hence less stress.
And I personally believe that most of the work happiness comes from our relationship with ourselves!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
My experience with leaders
Over the past years, I have worked with a good number of people in various fields. We can distinctly draw a pattern or pen down personality traits of what makes one a effective leader.
Effective leaders are joyous and fun. One of the main reasons they are good leaders is because they have eager followers. People like to follow leaders who are fun and who demonstrate obvious joy in their lives. After all, who wants to follow a grumpy and joyless leader?
Effective leaders have a strong work ethic. In fact, one of the greatest challenges of these leaders is maintaining balance. They are prone to be on the task 24/7.
Effective leaders are self-aware. They are able to see their strengths and weaknesses with a great deal of objectivity. They seek out critical evaluations from people they trust to tell them the truth. Because they are self-aware, they are constantly seeking to improve.
Effective leaders take initiative. These leaders do not need to be prodded to complete a task. To the contrary, they go well beyond others’ expectation. Good managers complete an assigned task. But good leaders are regularly envisioning a better way and better strategy.
Effective leaders love people. Some effective leaders are extroverts; they are energized when they are around people. Other effective leaders are introverts. Put them in a crowd sharing small talk, and they will be drained by the end of the day. But both types of leaders have a love for people. They truly care about others.
Effective leaders are tenacious. You rarely hear about them giving up. While others may view a setback as failure, the effective leaders see it as an opportunity to move in another direction.
But the good news is one can easily develop all of these skills. For some it may just come naturally but for some they might have to work on the same.
Effective leaders are joyous and fun. One of the main reasons they are good leaders is because they have eager followers. People like to follow leaders who are fun and who demonstrate obvious joy in their lives. After all, who wants to follow a grumpy and joyless leader?
Effective leaders have a strong work ethic. In fact, one of the greatest challenges of these leaders is maintaining balance. They are prone to be on the task 24/7.
Effective leaders are self-aware. They are able to see their strengths and weaknesses with a great deal of objectivity. They seek out critical evaluations from people they trust to tell them the truth. Because they are self-aware, they are constantly seeking to improve.
Effective leaders take initiative. These leaders do not need to be prodded to complete a task. To the contrary, they go well beyond others’ expectation. Good managers complete an assigned task. But good leaders are regularly envisioning a better way and better strategy.
Effective leaders love people. Some effective leaders are extroverts; they are energized when they are around people. Other effective leaders are introverts. Put them in a crowd sharing small talk, and they will be drained by the end of the day. But both types of leaders have a love for people. They truly care about others.
Effective leaders are tenacious. You rarely hear about them giving up. While others may view a setback as failure, the effective leaders see it as an opportunity to move in another direction.
But the good news is one can easily develop all of these skills. For some it may just come naturally but for some they might have to work on the same.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Happy Mother's Day Mom
As someone has rightly said "Since God cannot reach everywhere, he created a MOTHER". Happy Mother's Day Mom!!!
Since, I am the eldest in the family, I had the privilege of having the first emotional attachment with you and spending the most time with you. Few incidences that completely overwhelm me are my important years to education that is 10th and 12th. I still remember you at that age taking care of me, milkshakes, water, waking up just to wake me up, in your way telling me "Don't worry Purwa, we are sure that you will do well!". You always gave me the liberty to make my own decisions and trusted me. There are many a times that I did take you for granted and I apologize for that. In-spite of surely not being the best daughter, you always stood by me and never left me alone!
In my Engineering, you had gained complete confidence in me that I would manage my studies with all other things I did very well. You told me in your own way that these are just few years before you get married, so make the most of it now.
Then when I got married, I just hate the memories of parting away with you. I could not see myself without you. I always had a shoulder to cry but when got married, I suddenly found myself all alone. But you gave me the strength and silently told me to take control of my life.
When I entered motherhood, you were the ONLY one who stood by me in all the ups and downs we faced while bringing up Siya. I hate to give myself and Vipul alone the credit for bringing her up. She is this way because she is with you. Me and Vipul can work and enjoy our lives comfortably only because we know that Siya is in safe hands. You never objected the fact that because of just being there for Siya, you would be giving up a good bit of your personal life!
8th Oct, 2009 was the worst and the best day of my life ever. I have never got so scared ever as I did that day when you underwent a by-pass and was in a 11hr long operation. When I saw you after the surgery, I just could not see you in pain. It is very difficult to see a person who has always been a part of my pain, in so much pain! I thank God for this day too because it is because of him that I have not lost my PILLAR. Thank You God.
I thank God everyday for the wonderful relationship we share. All my dreams and hopes are for you, and though you might not always see the way I do things now, I know you always trust me to do my best. You know, whenever I feel down and sad, I still go to our own happy place. I remember you talking to me softly and telling me everything’s going to be fine. That’s how much I value your trust in me, Mom. I know you have faith in me so I do my best to get through all my troubles with you as my model of strength. Even when we’re apart, believe me when I say you will always be in my heart. I will never forget the way you held me when I thought I had no one to turn to. Mom, I cannot thank you enough for being there for me.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY AGAIN MOM!!!
Since, I am the eldest in the family, I had the privilege of having the first emotional attachment with you and spending the most time with you. Few incidences that completely overwhelm me are my important years to education that is 10th and 12th. I still remember you at that age taking care of me, milkshakes, water, waking up just to wake me up, in your way telling me "Don't worry Purwa, we are sure that you will do well!". You always gave me the liberty to make my own decisions and trusted me. There are many a times that I did take you for granted and I apologize for that. In-spite of surely not being the best daughter, you always stood by me and never left me alone!
In my Engineering, you had gained complete confidence in me that I would manage my studies with all other things I did very well. You told me in your own way that these are just few years before you get married, so make the most of it now.
Then when I got married, I just hate the memories of parting away with you. I could not see myself without you. I always had a shoulder to cry but when got married, I suddenly found myself all alone. But you gave me the strength and silently told me to take control of my life.
When I entered motherhood, you were the ONLY one who stood by me in all the ups and downs we faced while bringing up Siya. I hate to give myself and Vipul alone the credit for bringing her up. She is this way because she is with you. Me and Vipul can work and enjoy our lives comfortably only because we know that Siya is in safe hands. You never objected the fact that because of just being there for Siya, you would be giving up a good bit of your personal life!
8th Oct, 2009 was the worst and the best day of my life ever. I have never got so scared ever as I did that day when you underwent a by-pass and was in a 11hr long operation. When I saw you after the surgery, I just could not see you in pain. It is very difficult to see a person who has always been a part of my pain, in so much pain! I thank God for this day too because it is because of him that I have not lost my PILLAR. Thank You God.
I thank God everyday for the wonderful relationship we share. All my dreams and hopes are for you, and though you might not always see the way I do things now, I know you always trust me to do my best. You know, whenever I feel down and sad, I still go to our own happy place. I remember you talking to me softly and telling me everything’s going to be fine. That’s how much I value your trust in me, Mom. I know you have faith in me so I do my best to get through all my troubles with you as my model of strength. Even when we’re apart, believe me when I say you will always be in my heart. I will never forget the way you held me when I thought I had no one to turn to. Mom, I cannot thank you enough for being there for me.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY AGAIN MOM!!!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
How do I know what I am passionate about?
My boss during some appraisal cycle mentioned to me that "Purwa, you don't know what you don't know!" That really put me to a thought and started to question myself on "What am I really passionate about?"
These are the questions I asked myself.
1) What are you good at?
Unless you’re just starting out in life, you already have some skills or talent, shown some kind of aptitude. Even if you are just starting out, you might have shown some talent when you were young. Have you been good at ideas, connecting people, gardening, selling? Give this some thought. I took 30 minutes going over this question. Also, there could be a situation that the list is long. Pen it down on paper.
2) What excites you?
Is it something at job? Is it something outside job? Is it something with your family, with your kids? What excites you the most? Check the items listed question 1 against this.
3) What do I read about?
I found question 2 a little difficult to answer. So thought to ask myself, if I am excited about something, I will go out of my way and give time. Is it something that I read about a lot.
4) What have you secretly dreamed about?
You might have some ridiculous dream job you’ve always wanted to do — to be a novelist, an artist, a designer, an architect, a doctor, an entrepreneur, a programmer. But some fear, some self-doubt, has held you back, has led you to dismiss this idea. Maybe there are several. Add them to the list — no matter how unrealistic.
5. Learn, ask, take notes.
From the list obtained, pick one thing from the list that excites you most. This is your first candidate. Now read up on it, talk to people who’ve been successful in the field. Make a list of notes of things you need to learn, need to improve on, skills you want to master, people to talk to. Study up on it, but don’t make yourself wait too long before diving into the next step.
6. Experiment, try and banish your fears
Here’s where the learning really takes place. If you haven’t been already, start to do the thing you’ve chosen. Maybe you already are, in which case you might be able to skip to the next step or choose a second candidate to try out. But if you haven’t been, start now — just do it. This is the biggest obstacle for most people – self-doubt and fear of failure. You’re going to face it and banish it. First, acknowledge it rather than ignoring or denying it. Second, write it down, to externalize it. Third, feel it, and be OK with having it. Fourth, ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen?”
7. Find the time
Don’t have the time to pursue this passion? Make the time, dammit! If this is a priority, you’ll make the time — rearrange your life until you have the time. This might mean waking earlier, or doing it after work or during lunch, or on weekends. It will probably mean canceling some commitments, etc. Do what it take.
8. Make it your living
This doesn’t happen overnight. When you get to the point where someone would pay you for it, then you’re golden — there are many ways to make a living at that point, including doing freelance or consulting work, making information products such as ebooks, writing a blog, selling advertising, etc
All of this made me realize that it needs a lot of self-reflection, then the courage and learning and experimentation, and finally a lot of commitment.
These are the questions I asked myself.
1) What are you good at?
Unless you’re just starting out in life, you already have some skills or talent, shown some kind of aptitude. Even if you are just starting out, you might have shown some talent when you were young. Have you been good at ideas, connecting people, gardening, selling? Give this some thought. I took 30 minutes going over this question. Also, there could be a situation that the list is long. Pen it down on paper.
2) What excites you?
Is it something at job? Is it something outside job? Is it something with your family, with your kids? What excites you the most? Check the items listed question 1 against this.
3) What do I read about?
I found question 2 a little difficult to answer. So thought to ask myself, if I am excited about something, I will go out of my way and give time. Is it something that I read about a lot.
4) What have you secretly dreamed about?
You might have some ridiculous dream job you’ve always wanted to do — to be a novelist, an artist, a designer, an architect, a doctor, an entrepreneur, a programmer. But some fear, some self-doubt, has held you back, has led you to dismiss this idea. Maybe there are several. Add them to the list — no matter how unrealistic.
5. Learn, ask, take notes.
From the list obtained, pick one thing from the list that excites you most. This is your first candidate. Now read up on it, talk to people who’ve been successful in the field. Make a list of notes of things you need to learn, need to improve on, skills you want to master, people to talk to. Study up on it, but don’t make yourself wait too long before diving into the next step.
6. Experiment, try and banish your fears
Here’s where the learning really takes place. If you haven’t been already, start to do the thing you’ve chosen. Maybe you already are, in which case you might be able to skip to the next step or choose a second candidate to try out. But if you haven’t been, start now — just do it. This is the biggest obstacle for most people – self-doubt and fear of failure. You’re going to face it and banish it. First, acknowledge it rather than ignoring or denying it. Second, write it down, to externalize it. Third, feel it, and be OK with having it. Fourth, ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen?”
7. Find the time
Don’t have the time to pursue this passion? Make the time, dammit! If this is a priority, you’ll make the time — rearrange your life until you have the time. This might mean waking earlier, or doing it after work or during lunch, or on weekends. It will probably mean canceling some commitments, etc. Do what it take.
8. Make it your living
This doesn’t happen overnight. When you get to the point where someone would pay you for it, then you’re golden — there are many ways to make a living at that point, including doing freelance or consulting work, making information products such as ebooks, writing a blog, selling advertising, etc
All of this made me realize that it needs a lot of self-reflection, then the courage and learning and experimentation, and finally a lot of commitment.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Dreams
Dream Big and Achieve big. This is my motto. Everything begins with a dream. Every great achievement was once a dream. If you can dream it then you can achieve it. Follow your intuition and in turn success will follow you.
I still remember my HR professor in college who told us to draw up our vision board. We did laugh a lot that time and felt it weird but I guess how it helped me was to put my dreams into a concrete form! This is what he told us to do:
1) Collect all those old magazines
2) Find the glue and scissors and painting material
3) Big chart paper
4) Make a collage of what are your dreams
My Vision Board today is 12 months old already. I still use it when I need to, without fail. It can be a long time before you reach ALL of your goals as some are very long term and some are short term.
But the true fact is, it makes to meet your dreams everyday!
I still remember my HR professor in college who told us to draw up our vision board. We did laugh a lot that time and felt it weird but I guess how it helped me was to put my dreams into a concrete form! This is what he told us to do:
1) Collect all those old magazines
2) Find the glue and scissors and painting material
3) Big chart paper
4) Make a collage of what are your dreams
My Vision Board today is 12 months old already. I still use it when I need to, without fail. It can be a long time before you reach ALL of your goals as some are very long term and some are short term.
But the true fact is, it makes to meet your dreams everyday!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Happy Birthday Siya - 5 years
Dear Siya,
It is been a wonderful experience from 6th April, 2005 to 6th April, 2010. These five years, I have truly understood that it is the baby that gives birth to a mom! There are no words that I can write here that would be able to express what you are to us, but I still feel like just writing them anyways (we want you to read once you grow up). From the day we knew that I was expecting, we realized that God had chosen us as your family. From then, we have been talking about you all the time. In spite of the fact that neither mom nor dad are around through the day, you are a part of us wherever we go. I am proud to be known as Siya's mom more than Purwa Jain herself.
I still remember 6th April, 2005. Your mom has always been afraid of doctors, medicines and hospitals. When I was told that day, I will be undergoing a surgery, for the first time, I was not scared but decided to fight back to get you in this world! After seeing you, I was peaceful and calm. I stopped worrying about me and just was overwhelmed with joy.
By 6th April, 2006, you had learned by then to talk, walk, laugh, play and not to forget fall :-). You had achieved all your milestones well and much before time. I would just enjoy seeing you for hours and hours and learn from you. The energy, the enthusiasm, the curiosity to know everything around has always been a inspiration for me.
By 6th April, 2007, you grew up to a complete sporty girl. You started to recognize those flash cards and words and pretty much knew almost 300 patterns! Remarkable right! You will read this someday and feel extremely proud about it. And so is mom today. You also started going to playschool and that is when we realized that you love socializing. While all your friends were crying on the first day, you were pretty ok to be away from your mom for few hours.
By 6th April, 2008, we had to decide your school. You again did pretty well there in your interview and again mom and dad did not have to struggle much for the same. This year I had tried innovative ways to handle your tantrums (bird language, etc). What I liked most about you the most this year (rather what I learned from you) was if you made a mistake, you would accept it. You would come to me and apologize and I would be all geared up again to do something to hear the word "sorry" (mean mommy, i know).
By 6th April, 2009, we mainly tried to focus on your interest area be it dancing, skating, cycling, etc. You started schooling this year and as usual was pretty smooth start. You performed on the stage umpteen number of times this year and also got a good number of certificates and medals. You would just not settle for less than what you were worth and that really put me into thought many a times. I am really not sure if that is right or wrong but I surely know that if you have to learn from your failures too.
By 6th April, 2010, you have grown up as a extremely talkative and a supportive daughter. Getting water when I come back from college or office, making sure I sleep well, making sure you talk to me every afternoon when in office, and many such incidences just get tears to my eyes. You have been so caring and so adorable. You have started to write and read and this is basically your first entry to the world of information. You have shown interest in reading newspapers and books and always is looking forward to outings to Crosswords. All that I would like to tell you on your birthday today is (of course told to me by one of my friends a few days back) your future is decided by choices and not by the chances that you take along the way. Everyone in this world (including us) will have a opinion but the matter of fact is that only you can decide what can make you happy.
And always remember our world revolves around you. We love you, we are very proud of you and we do accept that you are growing up. Just know that you will always be our baby.
Happy Birthday Siya and God Bless!
It is been a wonderful experience from 6th April, 2005 to 6th April, 2010. These five years, I have truly understood that it is the baby that gives birth to a mom! There are no words that I can write here that would be able to express what you are to us, but I still feel like just writing them anyways (we want you to read once you grow up). From the day we knew that I was expecting, we realized that God had chosen us as your family. From then, we have been talking about you all the time. In spite of the fact that neither mom nor dad are around through the day, you are a part of us wherever we go. I am proud to be known as Siya's mom more than Purwa Jain herself.
I still remember 6th April, 2005. Your mom has always been afraid of doctors, medicines and hospitals. When I was told that day, I will be undergoing a surgery, for the first time, I was not scared but decided to fight back to get you in this world! After seeing you, I was peaceful and calm. I stopped worrying about me and just was overwhelmed with joy.
By 6th April, 2006, you had learned by then to talk, walk, laugh, play and not to forget fall :-). You had achieved all your milestones well and much before time. I would just enjoy seeing you for hours and hours and learn from you. The energy, the enthusiasm, the curiosity to know everything around has always been a inspiration for me.
By 6th April, 2007, you grew up to a complete sporty girl. You started to recognize those flash cards and words and pretty much knew almost 300 patterns! Remarkable right! You will read this someday and feel extremely proud about it. And so is mom today. You also started going to playschool and that is when we realized that you love socializing. While all your friends were crying on the first day, you were pretty ok to be away from your mom for few hours.
By 6th April, 2008, we had to decide your school. You again did pretty well there in your interview and again mom and dad did not have to struggle much for the same. This year I had tried innovative ways to handle your tantrums (bird language, etc). What I liked most about you the most this year (rather what I learned from you) was if you made a mistake, you would accept it. You would come to me and apologize and I would be all geared up again to do something to hear the word "sorry" (mean mommy, i know).
By 6th April, 2009, we mainly tried to focus on your interest area be it dancing, skating, cycling, etc. You started schooling this year and as usual was pretty smooth start. You performed on the stage umpteen number of times this year and also got a good number of certificates and medals. You would just not settle for less than what you were worth and that really put me into thought many a times. I am really not sure if that is right or wrong but I surely know that if you have to learn from your failures too.
By 6th April, 2010, you have grown up as a extremely talkative and a supportive daughter. Getting water when I come back from college or office, making sure I sleep well, making sure you talk to me every afternoon when in office, and many such incidences just get tears to my eyes. You have been so caring and so adorable. You have started to write and read and this is basically your first entry to the world of information. You have shown interest in reading newspapers and books and always is looking forward to outings to Crosswords. All that I would like to tell you on your birthday today is (of course told to me by one of my friends a few days back) your future is decided by choices and not by the chances that you take along the way. Everyone in this world (including us) will have a opinion but the matter of fact is that only you can decide what can make you happy.
And always remember our world revolves around you. We love you, we are very proud of you and we do accept that you are growing up. Just know that you will always be our baby.
Happy Birthday Siya and God Bless!
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