You will get to your BIG THING, your most important thing, but later !

It’s amazing how many people I talk to who tell me they want to create a new blog, write a book, start a new business, change careers, make something new. But simply keep putting it off. Does it sound like your story? You want to do something different but you don't have the time (or energy) to do one right now? "My sweetheart, I love you, I miss you but I just don't have the time to meet you. A million of things in your to-do list, your schedule fully packed, meetings coming". You will get to your BIG THING, your most important thing, but later. In fact it is even my story till I learnt the art of creating time. 

I realized that I will never get to that time I want to do my BIG THING, till I learn to create one. Seize the bull by the horns, grasp it tenaciously, never let it go. Time has a habit of trampling over us, so softly we don’t even notice but so powerfully we become crushed over the course of weeks and years. And someone who have learnt to master this  art is all working women. It is beautiful to see how they manage home, office, kids, in-laws and still manage to create time for what they like (walk, dance, spa-sessions, gyms, whatever). They generally have no time to do it and yet the create one. I had no time, so I created it. Time is often said to be our most limited resource, but it’s not true. We can create time. It takes the sheer force of will to do it, but it can be created. Time doesn’t fall into your lap. It isn’t handed to you by a kindly old gentleman. You must create it, taking from the world the raw materials you need and shaping it with your bare dirty blistered hands, pushing the clay into form from its shapeless muddy glob. I created the time, taking some from television watching, some from meetings, some from saying no to the endless requests on my time by co-workers and well meaning friends, some from other important projects that I put off. I put off important things to create time for The Most Important Thing. Say no to everything else. Put off what can be held at bay for the time being. And create time for what is necessary. Make something. Bring new creative life into the world, change the lives of others, and in doing so, change yours.

Let's attempt it - its not so difficult. And as someone rightly said, if you conquer your will power, even Mount Everest will seem like a rock!

Cheers!

Siya and her Virus!

A very interesting conversation with Siya last night - she was typing a letter for me on my laptop when she saw a pop-up on some virus protection software installed on my laptop. Her inquisitive mind as usual could not resist asking me what it is. So I explained her what are viruses on the computer and how important it is to install a virus protection on it. She went to sleep after that and a thought came to my mind. We all take care of destructive viruses on the laptop but we really don't bother with destructive viruses acting on our mind. The more serious of these thoughts may lead to mental health problems such as loss in confidence, mild depression, self esteem issues and a distorted perception of ourselves (been there myself ;-) ). I think the book was "The Secret" where I read that science has proved there is a link between physical and mental well being and positive attitude in life. When you are happy and content with life and your thought processes are working correctly your brain releases endorphins which is your brains way of dealing with pain and making your feel happier. Your brain also releases something called Gamma Globulin to strengthen your immune system and another chemical called Interferon which combats viruses, infections and even cancer. But question is how? And may be the answer to that is not so simple but what has helped me is "thought awareness" that is when you recognize that the thoughts coming to your mind can lead to a downward spiral of negative emotions resulting in  physical and mental problems. 

So when I started my own business, at first I was (and still I am) really excited about the entire thought but then I soon realized my mind telling me "it is hard, it is difficult, it is not easy" so on. I recognized that I was talking to myself in a negative way. When you recognize this, it is very important to recognize for what it is. Your mind has tried to protect you from being hurt emotionally so starts talking to you in a negative way in order to protect your feelings. As soon as you recognize these thoughts are creeping in, its time to kill them and carry on with your plan. Everything you don’t know yet is difficult simply because you don’t know it, but when you take steps towards knowing, it becomes less difficult and therefore easier. When you recognize and stop the negative self talk your thoughts will then start naturally flowing to a positive mind state. Kind of like Siya where she believes she could do anything. We tend to dwell on negative events from our past in an effort to understand why they happened. This can often occur with traumatic events from our past. Just move on, what is occurred is unavoidable for us to change, spending hours on analyzing why it happened is wasting your TODAY. Use affirmations to train your mind. They could be any of the short phrases or sentences you repeat to yourself mentally in order to induce a certain state of mind. Like for me it is "Everyday in every way, I am getting better and better and better". I have been chanting this (almost like a prayer) for years and years now. I make it a point to tell myself this before a sales call, before a client meet, before handling a Siya tantrum. By stating affirmations to yourself in a mantra like way and repeatedly over weeks, months and years your mind becomes trained to think in a different way. If you don’t think this works think about your fears for a second or two. people who are afraid of going into elevators have literally used affirmations and visualization to train their mind to produce a state of panic whenever they have to enter an elevator. So it is true in reverse. People who are confident have affirmed, at every opportunity, to tell their mind they are confident in every situation and confident enough to try new situations. We all use affirmations in our lives without ever knowing that we do so why not put affirmations to good use and consciously train your brain to a better way of thinking. And I have just opened up myself to new experiences without caring for results. The very thrill of breaking the comfort zone everyday excites me. Again read this somewhere - Apathy is found within the comfort zone, greatness lives outside of it. 

I know it is not possible to control our thoughts, Alok Kejriwal had once mentioned as his status message "if spiders could see the cobwebs in peoples minds, they would step back and marvel at them...". Our aim is not to control our thoughts but to steer them in right direction!

My experience with JoyFear

I had heard this term JoyFear somewhere! I realized that the path of success is littered with doubt, fear, uncertainty and still lots of persistence, calculated risk and repeated actions. I personally think the difference between someone who fails and someone who succeeds is the courage to act repeatedly. There was a stage where I lived in a constant state of exhaustion. I lost weight, I had dark circles and the thought that always came to my mind was "I am not capable". And this feeling of "not being capable" is something that can drive one crying. And then I learned from Siya while she was growing. When she walking, she would simply focus on the step at a time. She would make sure she gets that step perfectly right, make sure she could balance it well and then only move on to the next step. If she would fall down, she would again stand up, try the same step till she got it. That is exactly what I decided to do. I will wake up in the morning, put one foot ahead of other, I am going to do it one step at a time. And that step is a forward step. Keep walking and you will reach someday to your goal. I am strong and determined and made sure I only focus on step ahead of me and I would not fail at that. And this every step is a mixture of two powerful emotions - joy and fear. Every single defining moment in my life has been filled with JoyFear, mixture of intense joy and intense fear into one ball of powerful emotions that both lift me up and make me see things clearly when I hadn’t before. What made sure that I would always propel forward?

• I would tell myself "I have to succeed and there is no two ways about it. When I started Jute, I had left a job that was paying me well, a job that was satisfying too, and still decided to plunge into Jute. All I said is "I HAVE TO MAKE IT WORK". Once you decide on success you rarely allow doubt to enter your mind. Your persistence, dedication, and resilience are strengthened. And then in my low days, I simply ping my well wishers and a meeting with them makes sure I am on track!
• I decided to take a risk. I decided to chase my fear. I decided to do what will scare me. When I would experience rejections, I would simply ask someone else. Be bold and brave and defy the odds.
• Be prepared - Unemployment is the world's fastest rising worry. Anticipate your needs but don't live in fear, create solutions in advance. In Ajit's language - What is your plan B?
• Focus on benefits of your success and not failures. That it self is a biggest motivation.
• Be with people who want to see you succeed. 
• Always see yourself as "you are enough". Accept who you are and where you are today. When you compare yourself to others, you create your own suffering. My friends were busy making their careers when I was changing diapers. I was too busy to care. What others think of you is none of your business.
• Finally calm your body, do something you like. Find a quite place and bring attention inward.

Unless you can learn how to move through your fear, you’ll continue to hold yourself back. You’ll never learn to risk, to excel, to create, to invent or to experience Joyfear.

Siya and her stories...

Siya and her stories....
Siya - Mom, I am getting bored.
Purwa - But darling, I am a little busy. Can you play with Papa.
Siya - Papa will play chess with me, and I wanna play monopoly
Purwa - Its a boring game, chess is fun - lots of strategy
Siya - Monopoly is lots of money, how can you not like it when in business ....

The next generation in making ...

Are good managers good leaders always?

It is obvious in professional life to have disagreements and different view points. You land up to arguments and arguments land up to wars at times ;-). I have gone through similar ones a lot in past and when I introspect as to why, one realizes that once you are a leader (someone whom people look up to) you own responsibilities of a lot of people within the organization and outside, you influence them but hey you might not be able to manage them well.

Management is all about numbers exercise - topline, bottom line, targets, achievements, profits, etc and you are accessed against meeting those numbers. Leadership is all about "inspiring people" and for all you know you can inspire people with your management skills. Leadership is all about who you are and management is all about how you do things. Management is more of a skill just like teaching, cooking, etc while leadership is what is within and attributes that can be "followed by". Being courageous, trust worthy, visionary are all qualities that a good leader should possess and has to be felt by others. While management is merely a skill that can be worked upon on daily basis till you get better at it. Being a good leader is more like working on yourself - self-improvement, thinking, defining and visioning. Being a a good manager is all about planning, achieving, setting company's goals.

However, what is common between a manager and a leader is good listening skills, thirst for knowledge and highly dependable and accountable. Both realize the importance of their contribution to the business and make sure to be committed to it.

So, lets play a game today, on the scale of 10 (where 10 is the best), rate yourself and me on Leadership and Management. (Leave a comment)

Happy Birthday Jute Networks!

The Story of Jute Networks

It is absolutely intentional to announce the website of Jute Networks on the same day as Siya's birthday. Why not have the birthdays of both my babies on the same day :-) especially when both the babies took the same amount of labor pains :-). 

Jute for me happened by chance. After I left QLC, I have been talking to a lot of people but for a job. And one fine evening, I meet Girish Nair (my mentor and a very good friend of mine) and all he tells me is "you should start up". That night I could not sleep and was thinking of what next. I have been reading a lot about entrepreneurship and always wanted to get into one but never managed to say "ok, lets just do it". All it needed is a dinner with Girish to make sure I can pass a statement like this. And then I also met Ajit Menon who has been another reason for me to ensure that I dive into Jute Networks. So, we were like best-est friends who can not agree at all with each other :-). However, the fact that he said "you should try and atleast not have regrets later" was the only agreement I guess we had till date. And then finally my husband and my dad and Siya too gave me a green flag with lots of ifs and buts too which I turned deaf ears :-). But the fact that people who matter me the most were with me, I jumped into. So, a lot of things just started in place, investments, people, place, etc and angels came to help me from every part of earth to help me out :-).

So why Jute - Traditionally jute was used in traditional textile machineries as textile fibres having cellulose (vegetable fibre content) and lignin (wood fibre content). But, the major breakthrough came when the automobile, pulp and paper, and the furniture and bedding industries started to use jute and its allied fibres with their non-woven and composite technology to manufacture nonwovens, technical textiles, and composites. Therefore, jute has changed its textile fibre outlook and steadily heading towards its newer identity, i.e., wood fibre. Jute will help business houses in defining their new identity at affordable rates. India is also the largest producer of Jute in the world and that is surely where Jute should get to. Our vision is to be India’s most customer centric company; to build a company where businesses can find and discover anything they need to fulfil their IT needs. We would like to make a rich history and look forward for a dynamic future. “We make a difference…”

There are so many other people whom I would like to thank who just were there, my clients from QLC, my colleagues from netCore, my colleagues from QLC and most of all my immediate and extended family. (it does almost sound like a Miss Universe speech after award wining ).

Happy Birthday Jute Networks and you are as special to me as Siya! Announcing the launch of the website of Jute Networks. Hope you guys like it! This is just the beginning and the game has just begun, I have a long way to go so wish me luck and most importantly energy to drive it through.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUTE NETWORKS AND WELCOME AGAIN!!! 

Happy Birthday Siya - 7 years

Hey darling,
I just realized that you are now at a age where you are no more a kiddo for me and would prefer to be treated like a friend. But hey, you know what, I would still prefer to be a mom to you :-). Wishing you a very happy birthday my princess and lots of happiness and strength to overcome all hardships associated. Year April to 2011 to April 2012 has been for us more like a "BIG" Siya. Completely independent, completely self-sufficient,  very matured and more understanding. Tough you started treating me as a friend far earlier (http://purwajain.blogspot.in/2011/04/happy-birthday-siya-6-years.html), it took me a while to absorb you that way. I still felt the need to pamper you and may be cuddle you to sleep as yet :-)! However, it is working in your favour and you are having fun!

So what really was different this year! This year darling you came into first standard and that say it all. You were no more treated like a baby where you were told to hold teacher's hands or mom's hands. Your school made it sure that you get far more mature before even I could realize. You also started getting really more conversant with me and started having a real strong opinion for things. If you enjoy doing things, you will do it irrespective of who says a yes or a no. You have developed this strong will to make sure you get things done as per your needs and yet stay humble and kind. Your emotional side of development especially with your friends has left me shaken. Every person goes out of the way to help her best friend but you go out of your way to help a person who is in need. A few school incidences made me proud of you.

Sport field has been your passion and will continue to be till you want it to be. you have realized this year that if there is "x"amount of energy in you and if not utilized correctly - will come out in anger, frustration, crankiness, etc. you exactly know how to keep yourself busy when parent are busy and this could be a duration as long as 8 hours. You would yourself shift the furniture in the room to corners and start practising gymnastics just because you wanted to channelize it in the right direction. As usual laurels earned this year were in the field of skating, gymnastics, kathak, shaimak's, drawing and few more. But I am sure, your certificates put together versus mine till date, you have done atleast 30 times better than me. Proud of you as always!

So, there was 6th April, 2005 where my life had changed! You made me a mother! And today is 6th April, 2012  - exactly 7 years and all I can say is "you made a difference" to our family. You have been my reason to smile, my reason to dream and my reason to think real BIG! I have no regrets in declaring that you have been my guide in these 7 years. When I seek motivation, when I seek energy, when I seek optimism, I only and only look upto to you. While you will not even understand half of these words, you just do it in way where I realize why could I not be like her.

When you were born, I had this fear if I was capable to take care of this little angel and hope I have succeeded in these year. And today I have a similar fear when I am on a path where I am taking the next major move. And I have this fear if I can take care of the same or not. But as you always proved, "put in the best and leave the rest", the fruits will be delicious. So darling, your mom has gone into entrepreneurship - not sure if it is the right move or not, but who really cares - if I fail I will atleast know what not to do from next time. So Siya, you have made it a point to make us proud always, now its my time to make you proud. We friends have decided to make a difference and here is where I announce the launch of the new born baby - Jute Networks (www.jutenetworks.in).

Happy Birthday Siya once again and make sure you continue to inspire us. That is surely what is going to keep us going on! Love you !

Happy Birthday Siya and God Bless!