A interesting period of my life that I would like to share...

I always had this fear of being alone and trust me - I am not the only one. Most of us do feel the same. My support system has always been with me throughout by life thus far – family, partner, friends and specially the dance I like (I still so wish that Shaimak’s start in Singapore). I was so worried to take up my life without any help, or may be life without help for the fear of failure. There was this duration where I was absolutely alone and took me a good amount of time to be happy with myself. Just to avoid the feeling of being lonely, I would end up socializing endlessly (facebook and linkedin and emails have become my dashboard), eat so much that I have put on weight, roam about the malls, strive for company of office people (forgetting that they have a life of their own) because I felt these things are replacement for love and security. It took me a good bit of time to just see the positive side of being alone.

I painted a picture of bird flying in the sky gliding upwards. Yes, I visualized it as freeing myself (not that I was in a jail) but as an opportunity to grow, to get to know myself, to answer questions that I never had the time for, to introspect, to know what I am really capable of, to know what I think about myself.

I was travelling alone the FIRST time in my life to a new country – didn’t know what next was coming and would always think “I am so unprepared compared to the world”. I am very very bad in road directions – and here I was alone in new country not even knowing if my next step is the correct direction or not. Soon realized that there is fun in loosing way and finding one myself. Almost felt like a “winner” and the world was applauding for me. And soon I was OK to get LOST.

How would I manage all household chores – cooking, ironing, laundry, managing bills, etc etc. There was so much to remember all of a sudden. In the past I always had my partner or my dad doing it for me. Soon I became self-sufficient. When I went back to my home after this period, I realized that if I can be self-sufficient, then relying on someone else is an act of strength, not of weakness.

There are so many other things – feeling comfortable with strangers, how to protect myself, how to be just aware of my surroundings, be sensitive to others POV and so many more things. It was a learning process, but I did become stronger. Was almost like experiencing how Siya would have felt when she was learning to walk!

I suddenly found time for everything that I have been not doing for years – dancing, reading, badminton, biking, etc etc. I had time to feel the air, to see myself in the mirror and actually knowing myself better! 

Just Imagine...

I cannot thank Siya enough for just being my inspiration. Every child has so much to learn from and this is what I have lately learnt from her. 

Imagine a life where all your time is spent on the things you want to do. Siya does not get fluttered by average marks, not winning, analyzing why she lost, nothing negative. She does what she wants to do at that moment. However, I do yell at her a couple of time but thinking back why, I realize because I would want her to spend time on things I like. I long for a life like hers where I simply do things that I want to do. Imagine if I could write a letter to my boss which reads "Dear boss, I would not need your service any longer as I have decided to do things my own way. Thanks for everything". 

Imagine that today is your final day of working for anyone other than yourself. What if—very soon, not in some distant, undefined future—you prepare for work by firing up a laptop in your home office, walking into a storefront you’ve opened, phoning a client who trusts you for helpful advice, or otherwise doing what you want instead of what someone tells you to do?

What I have noticed outside India more and in many different ways, thousands of people are doing exactly that. They are rewriting the rules of work, becoming their own bosses, and creating a new future. All you need is two things - freedom and value. Freedom is what we’re all looking for, and value is the way to achieve it. When you value freedom above other things, you’ll make different choices. Your priorities will shift. You’ll have more time for your family and more time for the hobbies you enjoy. When you focus on helping others, connecting your work to their needs, that’s when value is created. This is what it came down to for all of these people, and that’s how it can work for you too. No special skills, not a lot of money, but the willingness to imagine.

Happy Birthday Siya - 8 Years!

Time flies! Seems like just yesterday when you were born and before even I could realize you are 8! All I can say is that I am just so proud to be your mom. You have filled my heart with more joy than I thought was even possible. There is something that I very strongly believe in, everything happens for a reason. Me and your dad met, fell in love, got married and I always knew that we have met for something great, I just didn't know what it would be, and certainly didn't know that it would be so soon in our time together.  Our marriage has been unknowingly shaped for your arrival and how to carry each other in our weakest moments. 

Some years ago, I still remember, as I reclined comfortably on an examination room bed for a check up in a clinic in Pune, within a few seconds, I heard a sound I would never forget for the rest of my life – your rapid, tiny heartbeat. Your heart was beating so fast when I knew that you were almost a size or may be smaller than a humming bird. I couldn’t believe my ears, I heard life –precious and vital life. There was life inside me, a heart beating inside my womb! Accepting this grand responsibility came as natural to me as breathing, and, before you were even born, I had already fallen deeply, unshakably in love with you. Months later, as I screamed and screeched you into this world, all the blinding pain that accompanied your birth was silenced the moment I saw your face. Oh God, there was so much of drama going on in the operation theatre. Guess some army of doctors, heart monitors, pulse monitors, forceps, all looked like monsters to me with their faces covered in blue masses. But you and I were already in our own little world. Nobody could touch us, nobody could enter.

As I watched you grow, my heart expanded with each new step you took. And every time you fell, I felt the pain in ways only a mother can understand. There have been times I was so nervous, your first injection, your first fall from the beam, your big cuts in legs but you were so strong. When we brought you a selection of toys to keep you occupied, you smiled at me and said, "Wow, Mommy. I thought this was the worst day of my life, but now I know it's the best day ever." One silly little toy was all it took to change your outlook. I almost crumbled in the face of your courage. You move on, like the radiant pulse of energy and love that you've always been. You learned to read, write, swim, skate, act, dance, gymnastics and God knows what all. You think deep thoughts, groove on music, challenge me daily and surprise me constantly. You are unbelievable, you are my angle. From my childhood, I have been in hunt of fairies and never knew that my childhood question would be replied only on 6^th April, 2005. I miss you when I go to office or you are at school, yet I delight in your independence. To this very day, when you walk into the room, my heart beats for you.

My only child, you're just a few year away from being a teenager, but, still, I never pass up an opportunity to check in on you as you sleep. Your face – purity, your breath is all the peace I will ever need in this world. You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. Your life has given me something I will never, ever lose.











LOVE YOU SIYA !

Happy Birthday Siya - 5 Years!
Happy Birthday Siya - 6 Years!
Happy Birthday Siya - 7 Years!

Think Different

While success is a relative term, I surely do believe that all the people who have been successful in their own way had the ability to think differently and challenge mainstream ideas. This has actually been the key to everything good in my life too. This isn’t a post to brag about all of that — it’s to share what I believe is a real key to life: the willingness to think differently than most people. It means you have to be willing to question what most people do and tell you. It means you have to have the courage to try something different. It means you have to be brave enough to stand out from the crowd and not take the safe route. Most people take the safe route, because they’re afraid of being different and failing. If you do nothing amazing but you go with the crowd, then you don’t look stupid. But then you miss out on the amazing. If you never stand out from the crowd, you will always be average. And that’s fine, but the people who stand out are the ones who make a mark, who innovate and discover, who learn the freedom of exploration and invention. If you stand out when you apply for a job, you’ll be more likely to be noticed. If you don’t, and you play it safe, then they’ll likely ignore you. If you stand out when you start a business, people will be curious and check you out. If you’re just one of many businesses doing the same thing, why should others care about you? Why should they choose you?


Learning to Think Differently

When you hear an idea that’s different than what you’re used to, pause. Instead of rejecting it outright, consider it — is there some merit? What are the arguments, the evidence? Let go of the emotions that come up, the defensiveness. When you are told that this is the way to do things, take a second look. Is this really the best way? Are there other possibilities? If no one has thought of them, can you?
Just because an idea is different, don’t just accept it. Look at the bulk of the evidence, and learn to spot flaws in reasoning.
Test out different ideas. Just because most people don’t do it, doesn’t mean it’s wrong. They might all be wrong, and this might be better. No better way to find out than to test it. If it’s not a good idea, drop it and move on.
Learn to be proud of your ability to test things that people traditionally believe in, and not to worry so much if you stand out. In fact, learn to see standing out as good — not just to stand out, but to forge new ground, to challenge ideas, to express your individual voice rather than blending in.

Siya and her stories...

Siya and her stories ...
Siya - Mom, now I am 7.5 years, grown up, now atleast stop writing my stories on facebook.
Purwa - I will do this till you have your facebook page and put up your own posts.
Siya - I will put up my posts not on facebook, I will put up my posts on some application that you will build it only for me... may be that is what you should do now and not post my stories. 

My kid HAS GROWN UP!

Siya and her stories...

Siya and her stories...
Siya - What do you keep on writing in this book?
Purwa - They are a collection of your stories from 2 years till now.
Siya - Why do you write and what will do with this?
Purwa - I love reading the way you have grown up and cherish those memories.
Siya - Engg/MBA se achcha aap photography kar lete toh itna likhna toh nahi padta !

Kids even get to decide their mom's careers!

What was my last week's biggest waste of time?

Unfortunately, it simply boils down to a decision of “Yes” or “No”. I lost my productivity and efficiency and ultimately happiness because of just these two words “Yes” or “No”. And actually, come to think of it, its not only me but all of us – for that matter even my daughter Siya now. Often people say “Yes” when they mean “No” or “No” when they should say “Yes”. “Yes” and “No” are a negotiation of another person’s request. Each word has to be used wisely, judiciously, and with grace, with your inner-harmony in mind as it has a direct impact on your well-being. I really don’t remember the book I read but it was about a two-headed animal with a single body. Most of us can often visualize ourselves this way where we are heading towards opposite direction at the same time. It is important to avoid such a situation because this state of unnecessary indecision lowers your energy rate and it drains away your personal power rather than strengthening it. To make a decision quickly and not vacillate or second guess oneself is a critical life-skill. It is especially important with the acceleration of the world around us today, fast decisions are asked of us minute-by-minute. People who can make decision faster without vacillating don’t hide from life but live their life.

The power behind “Yes” and “No” is when you state them truthfully. When that is the case, you tend to strengthen the relationship with yourself and moreover with others too. When me and Siya talk, I many a time tend to give Siya an illusion of a “Complicated Life” that I lead. To which she simply asks me – tell me the truth, what will make you happy. And this question completely clears the clutter for me. Being truthful to yourself and to others is actually an art of simplification which makes you more pure, more real and always approachable and lovable. Then what makes me think so much! If I say “No” people will get mad at me, if I say “Yes”, what will he think about me and so on and on. Soon I realized - When you take care of yourself, your relationships work. What I mean by this, is that if you don’t honour what is in your well-being, and come from a place of trying to please people or to try to make them like or love you more, by giving them what they want, it always backfires. Take up any incidence of your life where you followed the “please people” way and not “please me” way. I am sure you would have realized that you suffered, your relationship suffered and ultimately the other person too. Only because your heart closes the energetic reach to the person. You can always say “No” with grace because when you do that, you gain respect and you are still viewed as generous and kind.

So use your power of choice to say “Yes” or “No” when you mean it.