Enjoy!
Wishes for Siya from my Kolkatta team!
Monday, April 6, 2015
Special gift from across the world on your 10th birthday!
Enjoy!
Wishes for Siya from my Kolkatta team!
Sunday, April 5, 2015
Happy Birthday Siya - 10 years!
[Photo courtesy - Shalu]
And the tradition continues my little princess. This is one thing you long for on your every birthday, your birthday letter (ya ya, I know the bollywood character in me ;-) )!
Wishing you a very Happy Birthday Siya - you are no more a single digit age. I mean 10 years, that is what you are now.
3652 days have been blinked away, but it most definitely feels as though they have. I blinked and you were born. I blinked and you could walk/skate. I turned around to cook dinner and you were talking. I blink again you were singing and then skating, dancing, cart wheels, soccer, stage shows, competitions, friends, birthday parties and what not. You have grown up too soon and miss all those little tantrums, running behind you to feed you, your innocent talks! I have captured all of these moments with me and very systematically and we like every year will live through it on your birthday :-).
Every time I look at you, I see magic in your eyes. Small eyes, BIG dreams! A wealth of possibilities just bubbling over. You believe and always made us believe that absolutely anything is possible and you can do anything. A go-getter is what you are!
I know sometimes I do get angry on you, I demand a lot of discipline, I also nag you and behave grumpy too, however annoying I am - all I want for you is to live all your dreams. You will soon be a teenager and we will have a great a relationship or may be not, depends on how the next three years turn out be. If you turn out to be headstrong, stubborn and independent like I am, then we may might just land up battling everyday ;-). But I promise to listen to you carefully like the way I do today, even if we do not always agree, please don't stop talking. I will do my very best to listen and to value your words and not to say things like “I told you so” and “if only you had listened” or anything else that sounds condescending or prideful.
With that note, I would like to share few things that my parents and mentors and friends have shared with me.
My dance guru and all his instructors have always said, It doesn’t matter if you can’t dance, Just get up and move. I love that you are fearless in who you are, and I hope that you never lose that. Always remember, enjoying life from the sideline isn’t living.
One evening I was with a very good friend of mine who was all time low. I could feel her pain but I soon realized that she is dependent on others defining her. You choose who you are. Others cannot define that for you, not me or your dad, not your brother or your friends. You are who you decide to be, sometimes it takes time to figure it out and that’s ok. The most important tip I can leave you is that when you are determining who you are be very careful of who is around you and influencing and evaluate if they are helping or tainting who you are. And remember life is too short to feel embarrassed of who you are, learn to laugh at yourself and enjoy the moment you are in.
My corporate life has taught me what I will share with you next and I must admit that I learnt it the hard way. Establish what moral boundaries are important to you and NEVER compromise them for anyone or anything. Not your spouse, not your job or boss, not your friends, not for money, and not for pleasure. You alone determine your self respect and self worth. Others will respect you more if you are true and not fake, don’t change for the situation or surroundings.
It’s ok to have differing opinions from others, including me. So many times I have seen people with differing views make each other the enemy. Sometimes it’s ok if we disagree. It doesn’t mean I respect you or love you any less, it just means I have taught you the value of a differing opinion. Same goes when you disagree with a friend, co-worker, or stranger on the internet; truly listen and consider their point. It may stretch you to think of things from their shoes.
Rather than complain about what you don’t have, learn to be truly and sincerely grateful for what you do have. Let me start by saying, I am still working on this one. Make yourself content though never complacent. (a book taught me this) If you become stale and complacent you will never better yourself. Learning something new isn’t a sign of unintelligence, it’s a sign of growth. Never covet what others have, you will always want more and will fall short in your own mind. Instead set goals and build dreams and work towards those.
Life isn’t always about you. You are not better than anyone, you just strive to be the best you. If someone isn’t in a perfect situation in life, that is not for you to judge, be there for them. If it’s not a place you should be, you have the choice to walk away from any situation. Never forget that there is always a choice.
You are strong, you are beautiful, and you are valuable. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. I hope you know that I will be here for you to lean on. No judging, just listening and offering love.
Happy 10th Birthday my princess and as I always say - God has been very kind to me, he gave me a lot more than I deserve - he gave me you!
Wishing you a very Happy Birthday Siya - you are no more a single digit age. I mean 10 years, that is what you are now.
3652 days have been blinked away, but it most definitely feels as though they have. I blinked and you were born. I blinked and you could walk/skate. I turned around to cook dinner and you were talking. I blink again you were singing and then skating, dancing, cart wheels, soccer, stage shows, competitions, friends, birthday parties and what not. You have grown up too soon and miss all those little tantrums, running behind you to feed you, your innocent talks! I have captured all of these moments with me and very systematically and we like every year will live through it on your birthday :-).
Every time I look at you, I see magic in your eyes. Small eyes, BIG dreams! A wealth of possibilities just bubbling over. You believe and always made us believe that absolutely anything is possible and you can do anything. A go-getter is what you are!
I know sometimes I do get angry on you, I demand a lot of discipline, I also nag you and behave grumpy too, however annoying I am - all I want for you is to live all your dreams. You will soon be a teenager and we will have a great a relationship or may be not, depends on how the next three years turn out be. If you turn out to be headstrong, stubborn and independent like I am, then we may might just land up battling everyday ;-). But I promise to listen to you carefully like the way I do today, even if we do not always agree, please don't stop talking. I will do my very best to listen and to value your words and not to say things like “I told you so” and “if only you had listened” or anything else that sounds condescending or prideful.
With that note, I would like to share few things that my parents and mentors and friends have shared with me.
My dance guru and all his instructors have always said, It doesn’t matter if you can’t dance, Just get up and move. I love that you are fearless in who you are, and I hope that you never lose that. Always remember, enjoying life from the sideline isn’t living.
One evening I was with a very good friend of mine who was all time low. I could feel her pain but I soon realized that she is dependent on others defining her. You choose who you are. Others cannot define that for you, not me or your dad, not your brother or your friends. You are who you decide to be, sometimes it takes time to figure it out and that’s ok. The most important tip I can leave you is that when you are determining who you are be very careful of who is around you and influencing and evaluate if they are helping or tainting who you are. And remember life is too short to feel embarrassed of who you are, learn to laugh at yourself and enjoy the moment you are in.
My corporate life has taught me what I will share with you next and I must admit that I learnt it the hard way. Establish what moral boundaries are important to you and NEVER compromise them for anyone or anything. Not your spouse, not your job or boss, not your friends, not for money, and not for pleasure. You alone determine your self respect and self worth. Others will respect you more if you are true and not fake, don’t change for the situation or surroundings.
It’s ok to have differing opinions from others, including me. So many times I have seen people with differing views make each other the enemy. Sometimes it’s ok if we disagree. It doesn’t mean I respect you or love you any less, it just means I have taught you the value of a differing opinion. Same goes when you disagree with a friend, co-worker, or stranger on the internet; truly listen and consider their point. It may stretch you to think of things from their shoes.
Rather than complain about what you don’t have, learn to be truly and sincerely grateful for what you do have. Let me start by saying, I am still working on this one. Make yourself content though never complacent. (a book taught me this) If you become stale and complacent you will never better yourself. Learning something new isn’t a sign of unintelligence, it’s a sign of growth. Never covet what others have, you will always want more and will fall short in your own mind. Instead set goals and build dreams and work towards those.
Life isn’t always about you. You are not better than anyone, you just strive to be the best you. If someone isn’t in a perfect situation in life, that is not for you to judge, be there for them. If it’s not a place you should be, you have the choice to walk away from any situation. Never forget that there is always a choice.
You are strong, you are beautiful, and you are valuable. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. I hope you know that I will be here for you to lean on. No judging, just listening and offering love.
Happy 10th Birthday my princess and as I always say - God has been very kind to me, he gave me a lot more than I deserve - he gave me you!
Previous letters:
Saturday, April 5, 2014
Happy Birthday Siya - 9 years!
Siya love - today
you are 9!
Everyone told me that it would go by quickly. They were so right.
As I look upon you on this day, I am filled with awe. And while it may be
right, it REALLY is true, my love for you grows stronger each passing day, you
always find way to leave me awe struck. I am prouder than words can possibly
express to call myself your mom. You are amazing and I want to take this
opportunity to tell you and the world, why?
If "strong" was a human, her name would have been Siya
This year has not been a easy year for us. Mom dad went through a
pretty rough phase (possibly the worst) this year, but you handled it all with
such a fortitude and grace that it absolutely blow-ed me away. You refuse to
allow limitations to stop you. Through it all you keep positive, can-do attitude.
When we would flutter, you would calm us down and show us things from different
perspective. You take those difficulties, internalize their lessons and
continue on a stronger, better person.
With strength, you are really smart
And here, I don't mean you know things, I am sure there are many
people who know things better than you but you exhibit wisdom and sense of
responsibility far beyond your years. Its amazing to see you having a great
understanding of the situations and people's action which is so uncommon from
one so young. I have always been saying this but I will repeat again - you
always teach me things and help others see the world from a much needed
perspective.
Beauty is as beauty does
You are so beautiful my child, really gorgeous! Kind and
thoughtful. Compassionate. You display deep empathy for people and surprisingly
animals too. I mean for me you are like this "Hug Monkey", always
loving to give hugs and do so freely(Jadu ki jhapi as Sanju baba would call
it). You make friends (may be few of them) where ever you go. Your compassion
and empathy drives you to share love with those who need it most. I really
don't think you realize, but you show others what a difference an unconditional
love can make.
You are really funny
You have these funny, weird, witty, jokes that you keep on
cracking which makes you silly actually :-). Many a times, they don't make
sense, but they cause you to get into greats fits of laughter. When that
happens, that is THE single greatest sound that i hear on this earth. You also remind us of the importance of laughter. And how being silly
can make the difficult stuff easier.
You are pretty intense
You have always been passionate,
and shown intense interests. Hang in there girl, this will take you a long way.
There have been times that you have also displayed strong emotions but we learn
to balance your passionate side with your softer one and focus on your
intensity to make a positive difference. These years you have been bombarded
with walls, boundaries, stereotypes. All will try to change, shape you into
what it thinks you should be, mold you to be "more like". Stay true to who you are. Hold
onto it, trust in it and YOURSELF and don't let it crumble. Spread your wings
and fly and you will graciously reach your dream some day. I love to watch you
soar! Be you my sweet girl, Always. Just keep on being you! And if no one,
there is surely going to be two people standing by you ALWAYS!
Happy Birthday my princesses and I look forward to all the adventures in the coming year!
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Siya and her stories...
Was telling Siya Sachin's story today and told her that he started his career at the age of 11. Siya's immediate reply "Mom, I started learning at age of 4, will the country be proud of me also"
Small Eyes, Big Dreams!
Small Eyes, Big Dreams!
Friday, January 10, 2014
Socially uncomfortable only because you different ?
It is not easy to be different from your social group and still continue to be a part of it, am I saying it well here? I am sure each one of us do experience this in more than one ways. I have dealt with people avoiding my company because of my differentness. And inspite of hassles that I would face, I would just choose to be the way I am because being some else would just not make me authentic. I am different in more ways than my social circle.
I am not really proud of any of these because I am pretty sure I am not the first one in any of them. In fact, I am more similar to people than being different. I get hurt, I fail, I get lost, I cry, I curse, I get angry, I can be bad - basically I am as imperfect as any human on this earth.
In any wedding I would attend, I feel really bored because I just have nothing to talk about. In fact I become like the participant in KBC where people are throwing questions and I need to answer them. And they could be questions like - what time do you come home, who takes care of Siya when you away, what does my mom feed her, etc etc. And to a great extent it is even my fault because I too have absolutely nothing to talk to them not only because I am aware that they cannot relate. I get teased, people judge me, people don't visit me and I generally turn out to be a point of gossip. That is just a start of it, but I am sure you getting the idea. So, I do feel isolated and lonely as well and will not deny from saying that.
When I was getting trained by Shaimak - I was in a batch of students who were half my age, all were either hot girls or handsome hunks :-). That time my instructor (Anupam) told me something - dancing rooms have mirrors not only because you can note your mistakes but also because you can look at yourself and EMBRACE YOURSELF.
I also saw this movie called "Guru" where there was this dialogue that he says "If people are talking about you, it means you are progressing." One should worry when you are not talked about ;-). Apart from that, I also see this as a perfect teaching opportunity for my sisters, Siya and others. I have a chance to set myself as an example only because I am different - isn't it?
Being different is who I am. I would like myself as well my daughter to live her life on her own terms, on her own values. That also mean that one has the courage to stand out among others. Doesn't that make you interesting as a personality. So, lets be proud of us. It was not easy for me but that is the only way I choose to live and not pretend. You can take your pick!
I am not really proud of any of these because I am pretty sure I am not the first one in any of them. In fact, I am more similar to people than being different. I get hurt, I fail, I get lost, I cry, I curse, I get angry, I can be bad - basically I am as imperfect as any human on this earth.
In any wedding I would attend, I feel really bored because I just have nothing to talk about. In fact I become like the participant in KBC where people are throwing questions and I need to answer them. And they could be questions like - what time do you come home, who takes care of Siya when you away, what does my mom feed her, etc etc. And to a great extent it is even my fault because I too have absolutely nothing to talk to them not only because I am aware that they cannot relate. I get teased, people judge me, people don't visit me and I generally turn out to be a point of gossip. That is just a start of it, but I am sure you getting the idea. So, I do feel isolated and lonely as well and will not deny from saying that.
When I was getting trained by Shaimak - I was in a batch of students who were half my age, all were either hot girls or handsome hunks :-). That time my instructor (Anupam) told me something - dancing rooms have mirrors not only because you can note your mistakes but also because you can look at yourself and EMBRACE YOURSELF.
I also saw this movie called "Guru" where there was this dialogue that he says "If people are talking about you, it means you are progressing." One should worry when you are not talked about ;-). Apart from that, I also see this as a perfect teaching opportunity for my sisters, Siya and others. I have a chance to set myself as an example only because I am different - isn't it?
Being different is who I am. I would like myself as well my daughter to live her life on her own terms, on her own values. That also mean that one has the courage to stand out among others. Doesn't that make you interesting as a personality. So, lets be proud of us. It was not easy for me but that is the only way I choose to live and not pretend. You can take your pick!
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
A interesting period of my life that I would like to share...
I painted a picture of bird flying in the sky gliding upwards.
Yes, I visualized it as freeing myself (not that I was in a jail) but as an
opportunity to grow, to get to know myself, to answer questions that I never
had the time for, to introspect, to know what I am really capable of, to know
what I think about myself.
I was travelling alone the FIRST time in my life to a new
country – didn’t know what next was coming and would always think “I am so
unprepared compared to the world”. I am very very bad in road directions – and here
I was alone in new country not even knowing if my next step is the correct
direction or not. Soon realized that there is fun in loosing way and finding
one myself. Almost felt like a “winner” and the world was applauding for me. And
soon I was OK to get LOST.
How would I manage all household chores – cooking, ironing,
laundry, managing bills, etc etc. There was so much to remember all of a
sudden. In the past I always had my partner or my dad doing it for me. Soon I
became self-sufficient. When I went back to my home after this period, I
realized that if I can be self-sufficient, then relying on someone else is an
act of strength, not of weakness.
There are so many other things – feeling comfortable with
strangers, how to protect myself, how to be just aware of my surroundings, be
sensitive to others POV and so many more things. It was a learning process, but
I did become stronger. Was almost like experiencing how Siya would have felt
when she was learning to walk!
I suddenly found time for everything that I have been not doing
for years – dancing, reading, badminton, biking, etc etc. I had time to feel
the air, to see myself in the mirror and actually knowing myself better!
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Just Imagine...
I cannot thank Siya enough for just being my inspiration. Every child has so much to learn from and this is what I have lately learnt from her.
Imagine a life where all your time is spent on the things you want to do. Siya does not get fluttered by average marks, not winning, analyzing why she lost, nothing negative. She does what she wants to do at that moment. However, I do yell at her a couple of time but thinking back why, I realize because I would want her to spend time on things I like. I long for a life like hers where I simply do things that I want to do. Imagine if I could write a letter to my boss which reads "Dear boss, I would not need your service any longer as I have decided to do things my own way. Thanks for everything".
Imagine that today is your final day of working for anyone other than yourself. What if—very soon, not in some distant, undefined future—you prepare for work by firing up a laptop in your home office, walking into a storefront you’ve opened, phoning a client who trusts you for helpful advice, or otherwise doing what you want instead of what someone tells you to do?
What I have noticed outside India more and in many different ways, thousands of people are doing exactly that. They are rewriting the rules of work, becoming their own bosses, and creating a new future. All you need is two things - freedom and value. Freedom is what we’re all looking for, and value is the way to achieve it. When you value freedom above other things, you’ll make different choices. Your priorities will shift. You’ll have more time for your family and more time for the hobbies you enjoy. When you focus on helping others, connecting your work to their needs, that’s when value is created. This is what it came down to for all of these people, and that’s how it can work for you too. No special skills, not a lot of money, but the willingness to imagine.
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