So thought I should write about "Effortless Parenting" today. I am often asked - how can you do so much with Siya inspite of having a more than demanding job and of course husband and household to take care off. To which most of the time I say - I am awesome :-). But the truth is I am able to manage all of it only because of my husband. We have some rules been defined for us and the first rule is that we do not really break the following rules:
1) Teach kids to be self-sufficient - All kids first learn how to pick up things, then how to brush, how to have bath, how to feed themselves so on and so on. At the beginning of every new skill she learns, it requires requires a little patient teaching. But once the teaching is done, our job are a parent is a lot easier. I do focus a lot on teaching every new skill she learns.
2) Teach older kids how to take care of younger ones - This rule works beautifully for people having more than one kid (unfortunately this rule is ruled out from my rule book).
3) Teach them how to solve problems - We should focus a lot on teaching our children how to solve a problem and not make them learn facts or skills. We always describe everything as a problem and then have her find solutions. e.g. I want to run faster than the fastest runner I see on Marine Drive on Sunday, her solution was I will skate every Sunday. Addition of two digit numbers with carry forwards - teach me this skill is just on entertained. But the problem identified was - we have 10 fingers only and 10 fingers of legs, if I need to add more than this then?
4) Show them how to be passionate - Besides teaching them how to solve their own problem, we also need to teach them how to be passionate about something. If they know this, they will do work they're passionate about just like adults. How do you teach them this? By modeling it yourself. By doing projects with them where you’re passionate about something. Kids learn an amazing amount by watching and mimicking.
5) Play with them outside and be active - Spending time with your kids is best way to show them that you love them. I keep my evening completely free for Siya. If there is some office work to be followed up is either after she is off to bed or early next morning. Playing with them and playing outdoor games with them shows them how to be active and have fun being active.
6) Give them free time - We need to give our kids a good bit of unstructured, unscheduled time. They need to figure out what they have to do with that time. This is a very important skill to learn.
7) Don't dote - I’ve seen lots of parents that dote on everything their kids do, who are worried about every little thing their kid might touch or that might cause a fall. Back off, and give them some space. They need attention, but they also need some time alone to explore, to fall and get back up, to scrape their knees, to figure stuff out on their own. Go do something on your own, and leave your kids alone sometimes.
8) Dance - We dance a lot together as a family. We just play loud music and go crazy. Life for us is too dull without dance.
9) Read - The first thing I wake and do in the morning is turn on my laptop and read about topics of my interest. For Vipul, he picks up the newspaper and starts around at the same time. Soon we observed that Siya would pick up her book and sit with us. Reading is one of the best loves you can instill in kids.
10) Be inquisitive - Ask questions about everything and encourage your kids to do so. Don't give them answers as far as possible, encourage them to find out using their sense organs. Kids are naturally inquisitive, because everything is new for them, see the world through their eyes and you will enjoy.
Hopefully, this will make a useful read....
